believing by the calling
to be free is all i wanna be..

It’s not that easy living in this crazy mixed up world just like what you think. We need to struggle life in order for us to survive. we need to face every tribulations that come along in our lives. I’m just an ordinary person in this dark place, just trying to make things right. Sometimes I think of giving up everything i have for the sake of giving up sacrifices at the same time `cause i always think of one thing. I’m so tired of sacrificing everything, so tired of thinking all over again, so tired of thinking what might be good for me and not just thinking of myself but also for the people i love most, but how bout myself? When can I get what i wanted in life? When can i get all the things that I’m craving in my entire life? all i wanted is just to be free, to live life to the fullest and to get what I wanted to be in life. I always think and asked myself why I am here? what’s the purpose of being a human here in this world? I can’t get what they’re saying all about as if I’m living in this unhappy life. So complicated that can be possibly turn out into death. Yes, even death. If that particular thing is legal then I would be one among those people who are no brains and what they’re always shouting the so called LOSERS! I don`t care what they’re thinking right now upon reading this adversities in my whole life, at least I’m real and writing everything, my burdens in life and what i felt these past few days. Honestly I’m blessed that God gave me this life but at the same time I’m not happy for having here with this empty life full of hatred, sorrow, pains, anger and full of misery. I have my family but i knew they don’t support me at all. I have all my friends but not all of them that i can trust. Few among my friends that i can understands me. Can understand what i felt, what i wanted to be and what i wanted in life. And lastly, I do have this someone who’s so very kind to me.  He’s the only one who knew about this but it seems that he don’t like me at all. He seems to be different. I think he don’t really understands me at all. He seemed to be somebody that I don’t knew. What worst most is that I’ve finally accepted him as my other half but it seemed that he don’t want to be part of it. I wanted to be with him even if it’s just a second but I can’t easily bear every pain I’ve felt because of these frustrations that I’m always hiding. Being an ordinary person in this cruel world with miserable life is not as easy at all. It leads you to something which can give you freedom, happiness and yes even torturing one’s self for the happiness of others. Why can’t God make things all beautiful? Why can’t He make all things happy? Well, i don’t asking anything or even more to Him but all i wanted to know is that why He built everything here on earth not equally? I wanted to be free. I wanted to be somebody in this crazy mixed up world. I wanted to be somebody that can leave a footprints in every humans heart that I’ve known. Somebody that can do what he wanted in life and can make all things possible. There, i could be happy and live peacefully in my next life.
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~ambot! =(