you are the one
whom i wanted in life to have
the one who can make me smile
and the one who can make me laugh

you are the one
whom i waited for so long
i cherished every memories we had
and i cherished you as you are

you are the one
who made me cry every now and then
the one who makes my life like this
and the one who made my life so

miserable

you are the one
whom i cared and love for so long
the one i dared to be with forever
and the one whom i wanted to be with

you are the one
whom i can confide to
the one whom i can trust to
and the one whom i can run to

you are the one
who makes my dull day so bright
you have brigtened my soul
and you have brigtened by life

you are the one
the one whom i always thinkin` of
the one who can make me real
and the one who can make me so weird

you are the one
the one who made me felt this way
the one who always pushed me away
and the one who left me hangin`

you are the one
the one who made me always think of
the one whom i can’t live without you
and the only one who made me half alive

you are the one
the one who make me felt sublime
the one i wanted in my whole life
the one i missed every now and then
and the only one who bring out the best in me!

-jhel -sept11, 410pm-

believing by the calling
to be free is all i wanna be..

It’s not that easy living in this crazy mixed up world just like what you think. We need to struggle life in order for us to survive. we need to face every tribulations that come along in our lives. I’m just an ordinary person in this dark place, just trying to make things right. Sometimes I think of giving up everything i have for the sake of giving up sacrifices at the same time `cause i always think of one thing. I’m so tired of sacrificing everything, so tired of thinking all over again, so tired of thinking what might be good for me and not just thinking of myself but also for the people i love most, but how bout myself? When can I get what i wanted in life? When can i get all the things that I’m craving in my entire life? all i wanted is just to be free, to live life to the fullest and to get what I wanted to be in life. I always think and asked myself why I am here? what’s the purpose of being a human here in this world? I can’t get what they’re saying all about as if I’m living in this unhappy life. So complicated that can be possibly turn out into death. Yes, even death. If that particular thing is legal then I would be one among those people who are no brains and what they’re always shouting the so called LOSERS! I don`t care what they’re thinking right now upon reading this adversities in my whole life, at least I’m real and writing everything, my burdens in life and what i felt these past few days. Honestly I’m blessed that God gave me this life but at the same time I’m not happy for having here with this empty life full of hatred, sorrow, pains, anger and full of misery. I have my family but i knew they don’t support me at all. I have all my friends but not all of them that i can trust. Few among my friends that i can understands me. Can understand what i felt, what i wanted to be and what i wanted in life. And lastly, I do have this someone who’s so very kind to me.  He’s the only one who knew about this but it seems that he don’t like me at all. He seems to be different. I think he don’t really understands me at all. He seemed to be somebody that I don’t knew. What worst most is that I’ve finally accepted him as my other half but it seemed that he don’t want to be part of it. I wanted to be with him even if it’s just a second but I can’t easily bear every pain I’ve felt because of these frustrations that I’m always hiding. Being an ordinary person in this cruel world with miserable life is not as easy at all. It leads you to something which can give you freedom, happiness and yes even torturing one’s self for the happiness of others. Why can’t God make things all beautiful? Why can’t He make all things happy? Well, i don’t asking anything or even more to Him but all i wanted to know is that why He built everything here on earth not equally? I wanted to be free. I wanted to be somebody in this crazy mixed up world. I wanted to be somebody that can leave a footprints in every humans heart that I’ve known. Somebody that can do what he wanted in life and can make all things possible. There, i could be happy and live peacefully in my next life.
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~ambot! =(